So I was thinking abt everything.
My life’s kind of fucked at the moment. well not really.
Its actually better then usual.
Im in good terms with my sisters. If only for the moment.
My parents and me aren’t fighting.
We’re having major financial problems.
I feel guilty.
Asking for money for lunch and the yearbook
But I hate the thought of not getting a yearbook.
I want to remember EVERY LITTLE DETAIL of life when I leave school
My frends, teacher (even jacobi) and everyone else.
The horrible deed I did with Belinda is getting to me.
I can’t stand being guilty.
It breaks me down.
I’m not as fearless and rebellious as I make myself out to be.
I just am not.
Retarded really.
Im such a bad child.
Good God.
But I am spoiled.
I admit that totally. (there eu go stephanie)
Uhm..
what else?
Currently in Business class
Cant concentrate because of my little deed.
I have a huge project fr business due
but I cnt MAKE MYSELF do it.
Something ahs to be done.
I’m scared for myself.
the deed, my report card, my health, like life, mentality and all.
Its getting to me really.
I try to not let it bother me.
Every single day.
I must say I’m VERY good at ignoring.
I think I should come to solutions.
But I can’t
I wish I wasn’t the things I am.
I’m such a jealous person.
Fahad Ahmed is so hot.
It kills.
Really.
I write because it make same feel better
And this is definitely working.
I’m starting to ignore the warning bells in my head. I’m listening to Last Time by George.
The song speaks really.
Give me just one last chance, this last time.
That line.
Its mine.
My mom asks me why I listen to music constantly.
Well music explains to me more then anyone.
I understand it.
It understands me.
No one else gets that.
I’m just the girl who listens to music all the time.
I wish i ahd musical Talent.
Procrastination.
I am the Queen.
I want the days of me getting Straight A’s back.
I really miss them..
But yeha im ignoring the warnings and the alerts
tht are telling me I can get those days agen.
But what can you do. Losers are losers.
I’m just one of them.
I suppose.
Class will end in 10 minutes.
I think ill post this now.
Rest can wait. Peace&Love :D
Well..Not today.
- Location:Business Class.
- Mood:
crushed - Music:Last Time - Geroge
people say i've changed so much
And Some think i didn't
well here's the truth- i've grown up.
i stopped letting people push me around.(kinda)
i don't let shit get to me as easy anymore.(kinda)
i'm not gonna sit around feeling guilty over something that's not my fault.(kinda)
life is about chasing after the things you truly think are worth it, even if they don't happen.
Doubt me and i'll prove you wrong.
tell me what to do and ill tell you off say im not worth it and watch where i end up.
call me a bitch and ill show you one. screw me over and ill do it to you twice as bad.
people are going to disappoint you.
people are going to let you down.
we all have to learn how to forgive,
but i'm not the type that forgets.
i'm witty, i'm weird, i'm pretty much all around different.
i've gone through experiences that have made me wiser
but i still make more mistakes than you'll ever know
i hit more mood swings than babe ruth ever could homeruns
i'm difficult, but once you know me, simple.
i can open up, it'll take a while, but i doubt you could ever know everything.
Everyone has problems, it just depends on how you solve them.
i learned that you can't always be happy, but you can try.
I need someone who's really talking. Like can just talk to me about his/her daily life
Don't give me the same answers everyday like: I'm fine.
You could talk more about your day
I'll look each word you type to me.
Like seriously, I'm sick of always asking people questions.
I'm done with that.
It's okay if you don't want to talk to me.
I don't give a shit, cause you mean nothing to me.
I don't even know if youre a real person.
This is after all only internet.
surprise, I'm kind of happy you showed up.
truthfully, I really can't explain,I'm smiling again.
truthfully, I can't ignore you, cause I've been waiting for you.
truthfully, I'm not desperate, I haven't changed my mind since we first met,
but the last thing that I want to do is to tell you that I'm right for you.
I probably want to hold your hand
I probably want to kiss you
You'll probably misunderstand
I'll probably miss you
Lately it seem nothing's clear
I probably need my glasses
You come in and out of focus
I wonder if you notice
You probably know just what I'm thinking
You probably don't feel like I do
You probably think I'm crazy
It's probably true
Lately everything's changed
I hardly know who I am
My heart pounds
I can't sleep
I've come to this conclusion
What is it about you
That makes you different from the rest
You touch a part of me
I didn't know exsists
This wandering is more than filling
Footprints right behind me
How far would you go outside
The lines just to find me
Letting go of anything that grounds us
Would you wander for me?
Even though there's darkness all around us
Would you wander for me?
because I would for you
- Location:my room
- Music:secret crowds - angel and airwaves
We made promises we couldn't keep
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
just some cute stuffsss
indescribable....
what's left of me,
if only you could have insight of my past.
sometimes i'm glad i'm still here,
then there are times when i wonder if it's really for the best.
sometimes i just get so tired,
i've just had enough.
they always tell you it has to get better,
that time heals all wounds, but i'm still waiting.
can you give me something i've never had?
can you give me something to believe in?
i'm trying to hold on but i'm losing grip on reality,
they say good things come to those who wait,
but really how long must one have to wait.
sometimes bad things happen to good people,
i try to defend myself but it only digs me in deeper.
nobody said life was easy,
but they never said it could be so hard.
the longer i lay here, the harder it'll be to get up.
it's true you know, i hurt too,
i'll get close to you but eventually i'll be asking,
how could you do this to me? look what i've done for you.
i can't try any harder than i do,
but i'm left empty & left to wonder.
& so if you're going to hurt me,
i'll just hurt myself more, would you watch me bleed?
i'll cry out & reach out,
& watch as you walk away.
we always protect ourselves from danger,
people or conflicts we want to push away.
but after we do, do we ever think about those we hurt?
do we ever wonder what they went through.
perhaps you really do deserve better than me,
someone who won't fuck up.
through all these lies,
i try not to lose myself.
because no matter how false things seem,
i remain true to myself, the truth is there.
because i've done awful things so long ago,
& it really has been a hard mountain to climb to get away from it all.
skeletons in the closet get let out here & there,
mistakes come back to haunt me.
but it teaches me this lesson,
i know i have a past,
i know i'm alot better now.
i know i'm a caring person,
& i know i'm not selfish.
i've got to remember who i am.
regardless of what people think,
what people say,
what people do.
so don't tell me you care,
if eventually you're not gonna be there.
because at the end of the day,
you're alone.
You’re someone who ain't mine
But someone that I'll get
And you don't know how
Hard I've tried
To convince myself that I
Can easily forget
But you left this feeling
Here inside me
One that never fails to find me...
On a rainy Monday
...a feeling inside me
Like the days of summer
On a rainy Monday
..I feel it inside me
In the hopes of one day
I won't lie
I still can't say that I
Admit we went too far
And you won't see me change my mind
But I really wish that I
Could forget the way you are
But you left this feeling here inside me
The battle in my mind still fights me
I can see that you're not beside me
But I still feel you shine inside of me
----------------------------------------
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
----------------------------------------
I built this house
With my own hands
But she just came
And burnt the plans
She found the safe
And cracked the code
She grabbed the goods
And hit the road
And I'm
Feeling dumb
Oh, oh, girl
You're the one
Who shut off my electricity
Explained we just lack chemistry
And on the walls and on the shelves
She hung up pictures of herself
And I'm keeping one
Oh, oh, girl
You're the one
That makes it hard to
Lock my doors at night
Even my fire alarms won't work right
And as I try to sleep I
Glance next doors
And all I see is his lips touching yours
Oh girl
I will dig a hole and label it love
And trick her to fall in from above
Strategically placed at the front door
I'll coax her to come back to get more
Oh, girl
I'm feeling dumb
Oh, oh, girl
You're the one
That makes it hard to
Lock my doors at night
Even my fire alarms won't work right
And as I try to sleep I
Glance next doors
And all I see is his lips touchings yours
Oh girl
----------------------------------------
I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are.... Here
Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here
Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms
I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep... here
Our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here
Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms
Our lips, can touch
Our lips, can touch...here
You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your
You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you, I miss you
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms
Here in your arms.
Here in your arms.
----------------------------------------
I think I could like you
I already do
feelings can grow but
they can go away too
you're takin my hand
lookin into my eyes
don't be in a rush to
get me tonight
feel somethin happenin
could this be a spark?
to satisfy me baby
gotta satisfy my heart
do you know how to touch a girl?
if you want me so much
first I have to know
are you thoughtful and kind?
do you care what's on my mind?
or am I just for show?
you'll go far in this world
if you know how to touch a girl
do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl?
do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl?
I think I could like you
but I keep holding back
cause I can't seem to tell
if you're fiction or fact
show me you can laugh
show me you can cry
show me who you really are
deep down inside
do you feel somethin happenin?
could this be for real?
I don't know right now but tonight we'll reveal
do you know how to touch a girl?
if you want me so much
first I have to know
are you thoughtful and kind?
do you care what's on my mind?
or am I just for show?
you'll go far in this world
if you know how to touch a girl
bring me some flowers
conversation for hours
to see if we really connect
and baby if we do
ooh i'll be givin all my love to you
ohh
do you know how to touch a girl?
if you want me so much
first I have to know
are you thoughtful and kind?
do you care what's on my mind?
or am I just for show?
you'll go far in this world
if you know how to touch a girl
do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl? (yeah, yeah)
do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl?
you'll go far in this world
if you know how to touch a girl
----------------------------------------
With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.
You're an angel disguised.
And you're lying real still,
but your heart beat is fast just like mine.
And the movie's long over,
that's three that have passed, one more's fine.
Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.
I'm trying real hard not to shake. I'm biting my tongue,
but I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,
I feel like I've won. You're my key to survival.
And if it's a hero you want,
I can save you. Just stay here.
Your whispers are priceless.
Your breathe, it is dear. So please stay near.
Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.
Say my name. I just want to hear you.
Say my name. So I know it's true.
You're changing me. You're changing me.
You showed me how to live.
So just say. So just say,
That you'll stay awake for me.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything
----------------------------------------
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and Center, Clarity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and UNO cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and Center, Clarity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
----------------------------------------
I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore
Without a life vest I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'
Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
be
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)
Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove that I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean...end it all
[Zayra]
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(In to space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
----------------------------------------
I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
- Location:My room
- Mood:EAGER
- Music:Talk To Me - George
| You Are An Understanding Girlfriend! |
 You care about your guy, so much that you tend to put him first And while this makes your relationship smooth, sometimes you let big things slide Still be your understanding self, but if something really bothers you - let your guy know He'll still want you, even if you occasionally disagree |
| Your Personality Is |
 You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours. |
| You Are 40% Girly |
 You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit. Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way. |
| Your Passion is Purple |
 Sophisticated and classy, you're a bit picky about sex. You're more likely to be turned on by a fancy hotel room than a dirty flick. Sex is fine enough, as long as it doesn't mess up your hair. For you, sex is more about power and favors than actually pleasure. |
| Your Life is Rated PG-13 |
 Your life isn't totally scandalous, but you definitely don't shy away from adult themes! |
| Your Inner Pop Princess Is Beyonce |
 "Tonight I'll be your naughty girl I'm callin all my girls Gonna turn this party out I know you want my body." You've got the talent, looks, and attitude to get to the top of the charts. |
| You Belong in Milan |
 Stylish and sophisticated, you want to enjoy a truly European life - away from tourists! Milan fits you perfectly. Great shopping, high quality food, lots of culture... with very little hype. |
| Your Love Song Is |
 Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson "Maybe you've been through this before But it's my first time so please ignore The next few lines cause they're directed at you I can't always be waiting, waiting on you I can't always be playing, playing your fool" You've been waiting for love, and you're not going to wait any longer! |
| You Are Downtown |
 You're a funky spirit that requires freedom to live. Your city girl persona needs adventure, diversity, and great pizza. |
| You Are a Key Lime Cheesecake |
 Unconventional and quirky, you live to shock people. You see the world in very weird ways. Sometimes you even surprise yourself! |
| You Are a Dare Devil |
 For you, life is one big dare. And you're all in for any adventure. Others find you exciting, inspiring, and a bit intimidating. You're biggest challenge at this point is trying to top yourself! |
| Your Quirk Factor: 58% |
 You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it. Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them! |
| You are a Career Girl! |
 You may not be a CEO yet, but you're well on your way to success. You take your career seriously, and you wouldn't stop working for any guy! An independent woman, you pay for your own car, clothes, and housing. And men appreciate that - at least, the ones as driven as you are. |
| What People Think of Your Mouth |
 People see you both as mysterious and exotic. You definitely have cultivated your own unique interests and lifestyle. Brainy and quick witted, you aren't one for superficial friendships. But if someone can make you laugh or think, they'll likely be your friend for life. |
| Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino |
 Smooth and sweet, you fit in to almost any crowd. No one would suspect you of being a coffee tweaker! |
| Your Envy Quotient: 56% |
 You are an envious person, but only at times. Perhaps certain situations trigger your envy. Or maybe you're especially jealous when you're feeling insecure. Instead of letting that green monster out, work on making your own life better. And then maybe people will be envious of you. |
| You Are a Good Friend Because You're Accepting |
 No matter what a friend says or does, you try your best to understand it. And your friends feel like they can tell you anything. You don't judge. You know that friendship is a journey - with a lot of ups and downs. If you and a friend grow apart, you get over it quickly... and leave the potential for future friendship open. You tend to have many friends from many walks of life. Anyone you meet is could become a friend. In fact, you are especially interested in people who are a little different than you. Seeing life from another perspective is something you cherish. Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else with their secrets You really can't be friends with: Dogmatic, stubborn people Your friendship quote: "Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes." |
| Cancer - Your Love Profile |
 Your positive traits: You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with Your negative traits: Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down. Your ideal partner: Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt! Your dating style: Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another. Your seduction style: Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship. Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild. Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac. Tips for the future: Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you. Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing. Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first. Best color to attract mate: Aqua Best day for a date: Wednesday |
| You Are 50% Extrovert, 50% Introvert |
 You're a bit outgoing, a bit reserved Like most people, you enjoy being social But you also value the time you have alone You have struck a good balance! |
| You Are A Woman! |
 Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood. You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out. You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat. This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife! |
- Location:Computer Room
- Music:I love you - Namie Amuro
 |
|
- Location:Sister's Room
- Mood:
indescribable - Music:Too Late To Apolozige - Timbaland
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